The Back Up Plan
by Katycat1970
Summary: It's Mac birthday and she's struggling to accept she's about to turn 40! Will remembers the same struggles when she turned 30 but does Mackenzie?
1. Chapter 1

"Life Begins at forty they say…."

Mac looked up from her desk, surprised to see Will in the office this early, and shook her head in disbelief… As much as she liked to keep her birthday quiet at work she kind of had a hunch that Will wouldn't ignore today. Her previous two birthday's since she'd been back at ACN had managed to slip by quietly with just Jim & Will whispering "Happy Birthday" discreetly, but somehow she thought today would be different. Her relationship with Will had moved on so much over the previous few months that she'd had a feeling for a couple of weeks now that he wouldn't let this day pass by as quietly as previous years.

"Old age seems to have made you lose your hearing already?" Will said, watching her brain process his previous comment…

Mac looked up again to see a grin spread wide across his face – he was obviously waiting for an answer…

"I'll have you know that I'm not forty until ten to midnight thank you…" She said in her crisp English accent that Will adored so much…

Mac took a moment and glanced quickly at her watch and then turned her attention back to Will leant against the door frame, looking oh so handsome in his dark jeans and navy sweater… "For your information Billy, I still have sixteen hours and four minutes of my thirties left, thank you very much!"

"Oh - Now there speaks a woman desperate not to admit she's entering a new decade…." Will chuckled as he started to make his way over to her desk…

Mac giggled slightly and slowly started to smile back at him… "Whatever you think, I'm not worried about being forty – I just like my star news anchor to have the correct facts before he speaks – all journalists should have the facts and present the best version of the story – haven't you learnt anything from Newsnight 2.0?"

"Deny it all you want Mackenzie McHale but you forget I was there on that fateful night when you slipped from your twenties into your thirties…. Boy, that was bad enough – this has got to be doing your head in today…."

Mac let her mind wander briefly back to that night ten years ago before she noticed the grin spread even wider across Will's face… She cursed that he knew her so well to know that she'd be struggling to accept being forty and she cursed even more that he was obviously enjoying it! She wasn't going to let him get away with it too lightly…. She took a deep breath and let her bottom lip slip between her teeth for a moment or two, enjoying the sparkle in his eyes…

"Well, you should know how hard it is… Or sorry, can you actually remember back that far?" Mac joked as she threw the report she was reading onto her desk and finally took a serious look at his face…

"Oh, good comeback Mackenzie but you're barking up the wrong tree – you see this isn't about me…. I'm okay with it - there's nothing wrong with being fifty em…. fifty something…" Will answered as he started to casually make his way around her desk… "They say fifty is the new forty these days – haven't you heard?!"

Mackenzie was about to utter some smart comeback about him always being twelve years older than her but stopped as she felt her stomach flip as she suddenly saw the big bunch of flowers Will produced from behind his back…. "Happy Birthday old girl!"

To say the sight of him standing in-front of her holding out flowers took her breath away was an understatement…

"Oh Will – they're gorgeous…" She whispered a moment later as she started to recover from the shock…. "Daises and yellow roses…"

"Your favourite…" Will added smartly, obviously so pleased with himself…

"You remembered…." Mac said as her eyes took in the brightly coloured blooms…. She slowly took them from him and took a quick smell of the flowers – he couldn't have given her a more precious gift if he'd pulled the moon out of the sky for her….

"Of course I remember…" Will muttered as their eyes locked with each other's for a moment – both of them thinking back to happier times in their past – thinking back to times when he didn't have to wait for an excuse like a birthday to bring her flowers – to times when he'd show up at her office door with flowers and a soft kiss – just because he'd wanted to let her know just how much he loved her or that he was thinking of her…

Will was the first to look away just at the precise moment her eyes started to melt deep into his…. Mackenzie took the hint as she watched him swallow the lump that was obviously building in his throat… She took a deep breath and laid her hand on his arm instead….

"You know - there really is no…."

"Happier flower than the Daisy!" Will finished for her with a little chuckle, relieved that their eye moment had come to an end.…. "Mackenzie, only you could rate the flowers by their happiness – you really are one of a kind…"

Mac giggled and leant up and pressed the softest of kisses to his cheek – she suddenly didn't care that he might think it awkward or embarrassing - he surely couldn't expect to buy such beautiful flowers on her fortieth birthday and not be thanked for them….

"Thank you Will – you didn't have to do this…"

"I know…." Will replied, his eyes dropping down and meeting hers again without his brain's permission…. "I just wanted to…" he added, his voice barely a whisper….

"They really are beautiful…" Mac answered, squeezing his arm tenderly….

Mac was certain she noticed a slight blush come to his cheeks as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets and rocked on his feet – an action that just melted her heart a tiny bit more than usual… She placed the flowers on the corner of her desk and slowly made her way back to her chair… There had been so many moments like this recently – ever since his stay in the hospital – so many moments where she was certain he would finally reveal to her what the message had said, so many moments when Mackenzie had been certain he would lean towards her and kiss her but sadly, every moment had ended up with the supposedly eloquent Will McAvoy, stuttering and usually disappearing from the room leaving them both feeling lost and completely empty inside….

"So…." Mackenzie whispered as she looked up at him a couple of seconds later..…

"So?" Will repeated leaning against the edge of her desk as nonchalantly as he could…

"You're early this morning…" she whispered, wondering why on earth they just couldn't talk normally on occasions like this… Why when something tender or caring happened between the two of them did they suddenly have to revert to being awkward, adolescent teenagers afraid to let the other one know what they were feeling… Why oh why did they have to hide it?

"Hey… Have you eaten?" Will suddenly asked… "I skipped breakfast before I came out and I… I just wondered if you wanted to grab some breakfast before the craziness of today starts?" Will added, the blush showing even more on his cheeks…

"Sounds lovely…" Mac answered quickly before he even had the chance to back out of his breakfast plan…. "But I'm just waiting on a call from the Mayor's office…. Can we eat in half an hour or so?"

Will nodded slowly and then couldn't help himself as he watched the smile spreading across her face… For a moment he lost his train of thought completely and just concentrated on the smile on Mackenzie's face…

"You okay?" Mac asked wondering what the hell was wrong with him this morning… He seemed to be acting odder and odder by the second…

"Yup…" he whispered but still he didn't move or speak even…

"So… back to work then?" Mac mumbled, the awkwardness of Will's gazing and silence suddenly engulfing the room… "Our little team of reporters will be here soon…" Mac said glancing out into the newsroom…

Will nodded but then shook his head slowly – he was determined not to let this moment pass without saying what he'd come to say…

"No?" Mac repeated, a smile starting to form on her mouth at the cheeky look spreading across his face…. "Not back to work?"

"No…" Will said, crossing his legs and smiling…. "So come on - what's the birthday girl got planned for today then?"

"Apart from running a number one in the ratings news programme and controlling an ageing anchor you mean?"

"Come on Mac - I was kind of meaning after work... and I'm ignoring that last part before you say anything!"

"Well, after work, I have a hot date…."

Will felt the colour drain from his face and for the first time in months he felt his whole body start to shake inside – he had absolutely no idea that Mackenzie was even seeing someone…. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh feeling totally stupid at even contemplating asking her out to dinner….

"Sorry… I had no idea…" Will mumbled, his heart well and truly sinking to his toes… "I'll leave you to it…"

"Wait..." Mackenzie almost shouted, desperate to get his attention… "Will… wait…."

Will turned around and Mackenzie's heart almost melted at the look in his eyes… She quickly stood up and met him half way across the room… "I'm sorry – I was just trying to be funny… Will – I was going to say I have a date with a bubble bath and a bottle of red wine for one in my apartment…."

Will took a deep breath and let it all out in one go - his nerves that he'd been battling with all morning were suddenly back with a vengeance and the thought of how amazing a dinner with her at Enrico's that evening would be were very rapidly disappearing…

"Why did you ask?" Mackenzie whispered, desperate to make amends at her bad attempt of a joke and even more desperate to find out what Will had in mind…

Will left it a moment – at that point he simply had no idea what the hell to say next… He watched her face, noticing how similar her eyes were to the night six months ago when she'd told him she'd been at North Western – so filled with hope and maybe even showing a hint of desire… She had that look on her face that made him either want to kiss her senseless or shout at her… Will had no idea which to do six months ago and he certainly had no idea this morning either…

"Will?" she whispered, bringing his attention back to right now just as they both heard an excited squeal outside their office door….

"It doesn't matter…." Will replied quietly, noticing Maggie rushing towards the office door… He forced a smile onto his face and whispered a quick "Happy Birthday" as Maggie barged her way through the door – balloons and cakes in hand…

* * *

Will made it into his office, collapsed into his chair and dropped his head into his hands… Really – how difficult did it have to be to ask her out on a date? He'd been planning this for days now and never in his wildest dreams had he expected it to be this difficult… What the hell was it with this woman? Why couldn't he just go up to her and say "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Really? Surely it wasn't that hard? He'd been speaking to Habib just yesterday about this and had even got it straight in his mind – the young Doctor would surely be appalled at Will backing out at this stage…..

He sighed and shook his head slightly…. It had all started so well – the dreamy look on her face when he'd handed over the flowers was enough to make him jump straight up and give it another go at asking her out to dinner – surely it couldn't be that hard?

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the small black, velvet box that he'd placed in there a couple of hours earlier – the small black box that he'd had for six long years now… He leant back in his chair and shut his eyes tightly…. What had seemed to him to be an absolutely fool-proof plan was now starting to look like a total disaster…. From the look on her face earlier when he'd mentioned her thirtieth birthday he wasn't even sure she remembered their deal of ten years ago….., He remembered it though – he remembered that amazing night that they'd first gone out just the two of them for an after show drink… He remembered not finding out it was her birthday until their seventh or eighth scotch that night… he remembered being madly in love with her already but he also remembered how hurt and upset she was that evening having been ceremoniously dumped by Brian Brenner two days before her thirtieth birthday. He remembered the sadness in her eyes when she'd said that – albeit drunkenly – that she was giving up the dream of falling in love… he remembered the tear that rolled down her cheek as she'd muttered that no man would ever love her enough to marry her… he remembered the look of complete loss of hope in her eyes as she whined that she'd never get the chance to be a Mother…. he remembered nearly proposing to her there and then on the spot but more than anything he remembered her begging him as they staggered out of the bar that night, to marry her if they were both still single on her fortieth birthday.

Will remembered that last part like it was just yesterday - he just had no idea whether she remembered too…

* * *

**A/N: Well, here's the first chapter of a short story I've been working on lately... **

**I can't promise that the updates will be as regular as I used to be as a new job has pretty much taken over life at the moment! I hope you enjoy this - would love to hear what you all think!**

**Enjoy!**

**x**


	2. Chapter 2

Will was completely lost in his own thoughts as he attempted to finalise his script that evening because he didn't even realise there was someone in the room with him until he heard Mac clear her throat.

He looked up to see her leaning against the door frame - not looking at all the happy birthday girl she should.

"Hey…"

"Hey" Mac replied, her voice barely a whisper. "You okay?" she added making her way slowly over towards his desk. "You looked miles away."

"I was just thinking – that's all," Will answered, trying his best to act cool and calm.

"I thought I could smell wood burning!" Mac attempted to joke as she plonked herself on the edge of his desk…

Will took a quick glance at his watch and then leant back in his comfy office chair, letting it recline back slightly…. "Only about three hours to go until the dreaded forty then!"

"Shut it Will - I came in here to cheer myself up!"

"It's your birthday Mac, you really shouldn't need too much cheering up!"

Mac tried to smile but instead took a deep breath which turned into a sigh… "Don't remind me Billy."

"Hey – you've had a frown on that beautiful face ever since eight am… You've been spoilt rotten all day and I've hardly believed any of the smiles you've forced onto your face today," Will whispered, trying his best to get a proper smile out of her.

"Is it that obvious that I hated every second of the birthday singing and cake fiasco?"

"Probably only to me," Will replied, winking at her… "I kind of still know when your smile is true or false!"

Mac sighed again and most definitely didn't realise how much she melted Will as she took her bottom lip between her teeth… "Forty is so bloody old Will – I feel ancient.."

"Don't make too much of it - it's just a number."

"Yeah – a bloody great big number. Four whole decades Will."

Will laughed and shook his head slightly… "Come on Mac – you're making way too much of it - it's not that bad."

"You think?"

"I know. Remember I've been there," he said, suddenly realising this turning forty lark for Mackenzie was affecting her more than he'd originally thought it would. He stood up and walked the two steps to close the distance between them and gently placed his hands on her shoulders…

"Hey, I've gotten one step further than you don't forget. Believe me – if you feel old think of me – I'm fifty two!"

He didn't miss the way her eyes involuntarily closed as he started to rub the top of her arms fondly….

"It's different for men…" Mac whined a moment later, knowing that she sound pretty pathetic right now but still feeling incredibly pissed off at the whole birthday thing.

"How so?" Will asked as he ran his hands slowly down to her wrists before taking her left hand in his right…

For a while neither said a word, both relishing the feeling of their fingers being entwined together for a few precious seconds.

"It doesn't matter," Mac suddenly said, realising that she was gazing longingly at their hands joined together when they probably shouldn't be. "Come on you" she said squeezing his hand affectionately, "We've only got fifteen minutes to air – I need to go over those graphics with Joey."

"What? The same graphics you've probably gone over three times already this afternoon?"

Will chuckled as he held onto her hands tightly, refusing to let her leave… "Everything's ready Mac – take five minutes out."

"Everything's ready but you," Mac answered, noting that Will still had no tie or jacket on. "Let's get going Mr – I need you looking as dashing as always on that screen tonight."

Will was always amazed at just how predictable Mackenzie could still be at times - a moment of her feeling vulnerable or even a rare moment of tenderness between them and for some reason she felt she had to flee the room. He rubbed his thumbs across the back of her hand and then smiled - he wasn't going to let her leave today.

"Well. I was thinking of the more relaxed approach this evening" Will attempted to kid Mac, "It is Friday after all! How about we introduce a dress down Friday regime?"

"Tie on - now…" Mac answered sternly, refusing to take the bait.

She pulled her hands from his and made her way to his coat stand to retrieve his suit jacket for him… Will chuckled to himself – she'd just as soon chop off her right hand than to allow him to go on air not looking perfectly suited and booted.

"So, blue or grey?" Will asked, pulling the two ties from the side of his desk and holding both up to Mac.

"Hmmm – is this part of an EPs role these days?" Mac giggled, dropping the jacket on his chair and taking the ends of both the ties in her hand….

"It always used to be…" Will answered quietly, remembering back to their dating days when she used to pick his ties for him every night before they went live.

Mackenzie froze for a moment as she heard him refer back to the old days but Will must have suddenly realised his own moment of weakness, quickly attempting to cover it. "You have much better taste than me anyway," he added, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Well, I'm glad you finally realise that Mr!" Mac answered as she held up the navy blue tie in her hand… "This one I think."

Will smiled – he could have easily predicted she'd pick the blue one – some things would never change and Mackenzie had always loved him wearing blue – she used to say it matched his eyes. He threw the other tie on his office chair and started to do up his top button but, to his amazement, before he got very far with his task Mac pulled him towards her and started work on the shirt and tie herself.

"Come here you," she whispered and allowed a little smile to cross her face.

Will stood still, hardly daring to breathe, as he felt her fix the top button of his shirt and turn up his collar…. As hard as he tried he couldn't get old memories of her doing this every night before their broadcasts out of his mind. He knew thinking like this would blow his brain but he couldn't stop himself. She always used to come to his office twenty minutes before going live to pick his tie and whisper words of Good Luck into his ear. It had become a beautiful routine for them back in the day and in some small way it had become one of his favourite times of his day – a moment where it was just them two alone – a moment of togetherness they shared just minutes before their show went live on national TV.

As he felt her soft fingers begin to wrap the tie around his neck he swallowed slightly remembering the loving kisses she always used to press to his lips as she finished – it had always amazed him to this day how relaxed she could make him feel with just one tiny, tender kiss and he wondered for a fleeting moment whether she was thinking the same thing as him – whether her memory bank was turning her insides to jelly just like his was.

Will opened his eyes a moment later and was met with the most beautiful of smiles from Mac as she tied the knot of his tie – the concentration on her face was utterly adorable to Will and it took every bit of willpower that he possessed not to kiss her there and then and just damn the consequences. As his heart sped up in his chest he heard Mackenzie sigh a little wispy sigh which just made his heart beat faster.

"I love this colour on you…" Mac whispered a moment later and Will couldn't help but gaze longingly into her eyes…. "It brings out the blue in your eyes."

Will sighed this time wondering if Mackenzie was doing this on purpose – wondering if she had any idea how much a simple gesture like this could mean to him. He waited a moment or two more before he smiled and tried his hardest to clear his mind – his brain seemed to be turning to mush by the second, much to his frustration. Slowly, he shook his head slightly trying so hard to concentrate, making Mac's task of straightening the tie harder.

"Stay still," she muttered, her right hand reaching up and gently holding Will's face to keep him still…

She surely had no idea how much this was affecting him or she wouldn't do this ten minutes before air Will thought to himself as her fingers slowly reached behind his ear and gently played with his hair for a second.

"So," Will whispered a couple of seconds later, feeling he had to somehow take his mind of Mac's hand sliding through his hair. "I hear the guys want to take you out drinking after the show?"

Mac giggled and shook her head wildly as she finally pulled the collar down into place and straightened the tie into its final position…. "No chance thank you very much!"

"No chance?" Will repeated, arching his eyebrow in question….

"I know them Billy - they'll pour cocktails down me and get me drunk - then they move onto tequila shots and I'm waaaayyy too old for that now! Believe me, it has disaster written all over it!"

Will chuckled as Mackenzie smiled obviously pleased with her tie tying. She let her hands slide down his shoulders as she straightened his shirt, her hands reluctantly falling to her sides….

"Perfect, even if I do say so myself."

Will glanced in the mirror on his wall before picking up his jacket. "You've not lost the knack," he whispered as he checked on her handiwork before turning back to Mac who was watching him with a far-away look in her eyes.

Will wandered over to her as he pulled on his jacket. "Go for a few drinks with the guys after work if you want – it'll cheer you up - you look like you could do with it."

Mac hesitated for a moment or two, her eyes never leaving his…

"Would you be coming along?" she finally asked, sounding more than a little bit nervous which Will found so endearing.

"Are you sure you'd want me there? I'd cramp your style surely?" Will chuckled, half joking but really hoping that she'd ask him to join them all the same.

"I'd always want you there silly," Mac whispered, her bottom lip once again slipping between her teeth and her eyes dancing with anticipation, waiting for Will to say something back to her.

The trouble was - Will had no idea what to say. He thought back to the little black box that he'd sadly slipped into his desk drawer after their cancelled breakfast earlier today, he thought back to the un-asked dinner invitation where he already had a table booked at Enrico's and he thought back to the determination he'd woken up to that morning after he'd laid awake for hours planning what to say and how to say it….

"Billy?"

If her soft voice was supposed to bring him out of his daydreams it didn't work – if anything the use of his nickname dragged him even further back into the past – even further back into memories of their once perfect life together that he was desperate to get back. Finally, Will opened his eyes and his heart ached as his eyes met hers – the look of vulnerability that shone from her was almost too much to bear.

He just had to kiss her – those precious lips were so inviting and those eyes were begging him to make a move. Feeling braver than he had in months, Will closed the few steps between them and reached out for her hand, pulling her towards him causing Mac to sigh as she felt herself land flush against his body. Although their relationship had improved beyond belief over the past six months Mac hadn't been quite so close to him since the 'Rudy' hug on Valentine's Day. If she thought the feeling of pure joy that washed over her that day was too much to bear the way her legs almost turned to jelly now was unbelievable.

Mackenzie raised her eyes until they met his and she instantly caught the look of longing in his eye and couldn't stop herself as she opened her mouth to say something… Will shook his head though and squeezed her waist, unsure whether to hug her or just kiss her on the spot…

"Kenz…." Will whispered, his eyes locking with hers…

Mackenzie suddenly felt the dizziness take over her and as much as she tried to fight the feeling of complete and utter helplessness she found that she couldn't - both her legs and arms were trembling, her mouth suddenly felt like it had turned to sandpaper and somehow the ordinary, usual activity of breathing had become so difficult. She closed her eyes and took the deepest breath she could, certain that their lips were about to meet when suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. Mac pulled away quickly, shakily stepping backwards towards Will's desk and sighed to herself…

Knowing that the moment was lost Will turned a bright shade of red in seconds. "Damn it…" he muttered under his breath as the door opened to find a rather embarrassed looking Jim standing there looking as awkward as always.

"What?" Will said, his tone letting Jim know full well he wasn't pleased with the interruption.

Jim looked across at Mac and then tapped his watch, "Sorry to interrupt but it's only three minutes to air and Charlie's on the lookout for both of you."

"Bloody hell!" Mac exclaimed, wondering just how the hell the twenty minutes she had spare had turned into three minutes without her even realising. She glanced at her watch to check that Jim was actually right with his timing and then gazed up at Will. She couldn't help but feel somewhat flutstered as she saw a look of frustration start to spread across Will's face. She took a deep breath and once again she cursed their timing.

"Mac?" Jim repeated, finally getting her full attention.

"Right. Yes." She said, trying her best to sound normal. Mac nodded to Jim and tried to collect her thoughts and turn into professional EP mode as quickly as she could. As confused as she was currently feeling the last thing she needed was Will freaking out on air so in true Mackenzie style she tried to act as nothing at all had happened. She very quickly plastered her best happy smile onto her face and held her head up high.

"Three minutes Will," she said as she started to make her way past him but she hadn't even made it to the office door when Will swiftly caught her hand and clung onto it tightly.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice sounding urgent but shaking slightly as he spoke. "Have dinner with me later?"

Mackenzie stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath, her mind in a sudden whirl. As much as she longed to have dinner with him she knew that it felt like something big was happening today with Will and as silly as it sounded she wasn't sure she was quite ready for something big. Okay – she was ready she had to admit to herself, she was just simply terrified of starting all over again with him - just on the off chance she somehow screwed it all up again.

"Mac?"

"We have a show to do Billy…."

Will, sensing her trepidation, was suddenly feeling brave – brave or stupid – he wasn't quite sure which but he realised the moment they'd unknowingly created a few moments ago was disappearing far too quickly.

"Not until you agree to have dinner with me we don't," he replied, his breath starting to tickle her ear…

"Will… Charlie will be on the warpath soon!"

"I don't care!"

"You will do when he's shouting at you for not being behind your desk!"

"shhhh… forget Charlie," Will said, his voice barely audible. "Just say 'Yes' Mac – it's simple."

"Billy…."

"I've even booked a table at Enrico's – just on the off chance you'd say yes."

The name of their once favourite restaurant seemed to stop Mac in her tracks – she literally hadn't step foot inside the place for over five years….

"Mac?" Jim called from across the newsroom which pulled Mac back to the fact that they had a show to do in two minutes.

"Will – we have two minutes and thirty seconds to air…"

"So say 'Yes' and we'll be on our way but until then the camera's pointed to an empty chair!"

Mac started to giggle and then swung her head to look him in the eye – at times like this she just couldn't help herself… "Will, if we have dinner tonight we'll…."

"Yes?" Will whispered, turning her towards him and taking both her hands in his. "We'll what?"

"Oh God. I just want to get drunk and forget this day," Mac sighed… "I hate birthday's Billy."

"I know you do sweetheart so let's get drunk together? We did it ten years ago tonight - remember?"

Mac nodded her head and attempted to pull Will towards the studio.

"Will, please get in your chair – that would be the most wonderful birthday present if you just sat down and looked into the camera and read for me!"

"Come on Mac – it's just a birthday dinner date – what's the harm eh?" (Will was tempted to add he wasn't proposing marriage but really - he was planning to do just that).

Mac couldn't help but smile at the hopeful – almost childlike - look in his eyes…. "Will…"

"Hey!" Will said brightly, trying a different tactic to persuade her. "Remember ten years ago – we'll recreate the whole evening!" Will said, letting Mac pull him towards the anchor desk. "Forget dinner - we don't need elegant dining at Enrico's - We'll go to some dive of a bar, we'll get a bottle of cheap scotch and you can pour your heart out to me again," he teased.

"Will…"

"That was a good night right?"

"Get to work McAvoy." Mackenzie said firmly, "Two minutes…"

"Or were you too drunk that night to remember?! " Will prompted, certain that Mac was about to agree to anything with him. "Hey… you don't even remember do you? We walked you home through the park remember? Or has the big birthday affected your memory too?!"

"WILL!" Mac exclaimed, starting to worry that he would never sit behind his desk tonight. "Please… Go sit – tell the nice people at home the news and stop winding me up," Mac said as she finally pushed him towards his big leather chair and made her way quickly across the studio towards the safety of her control room.

"We made a deal that night Kenz…" Will shouted as her slender frame disappeared towards the control room but, to Will's surprise, she did quickly turn her head to take a look at him. Their eyes locked in an instant and for a very brief moment Will wondered if she was about to head back towards him.

Will smiled at the hesitant Mackenzie and almost melted as she returned the smile… "Remember Mac?"

Will just about managed to see Mackenzie shake her head as she turned and disappeared into the control room letting the door shut tightly behind her. The next thing Will heard was Herb instructing them all they had sixty seconds to air.

Will took a deep breath and tried to compose his thoughts. He took a moment to look at the first few lines of his script on the tele-prompter and then tried to clear his mind – it may be a slow news day and it maybe a Friday night when ratings were always lower, but he still needed to switch his mind into professional news anchor mode – Mackenzie and her Birthday dinner would have to wait an hour.

Finally, Will pushed his ear piece firmly into place and took a deep breath with just twenty seconds to compose himself. As he looked up again at the camera he heard her soft voice suddenly whisper down the wire into his ear so only he could hear, "Good show Billy."

Will smiled slightly to the camera as if she was the only person in the world watching him… He nodded his head and smiled again – the smile and the nod had always been his silent reply of 'Good show' back to her and just as Will finally managed to straighten his head into News Anchor mode he heard her voice again…

"I remember everything about that night Billy…."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews to Chapter 1 - you have no idea how much they actually make me get onto the next chapter!**

**Hope you've enjoyed this chapter 2 - if so let me know... :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Will had absolutely no idea how he managed to make it through the broadcast but somehow he did. Mackenzie had often said that when that light came on the camera that Will could switch into auto-pilot and tonight proved her completely right. As confused and muddled as his head was as the credits rolled to start the show, Will's head had automatically cleared itself of all thoughts of Mackenzie and he was truly in professional anchor mode – it may not have been their most perfect show but it was good effort considering the circumstances.

As soon as the show had finished though, the confusion was back with a vengeance. Within seconds of the credits beginning to roll Will ripped out his ear piece and raced towards the control room expecting to find Mac finishing off but to his dismay she was no-where to be seen. As his eyes scanned the room for her he was surprised that he couldn't find her anywhere. She would usually spend a couple of minutes with the tech guys after they came off the air – usually telling them how they could do thing better the following evening but not tonight – tonight it seems she had made an extremely fast getaway.

Will made his way over towards Jim who had given Will his final instructions during the show and waited for the young man to finish speaking to Herb.

"Where's Mackenzie?" Will asked but Jim shook his head slowly.

"I have no idea," the younger man replied… "She pulled her headpiece off during the last commercial break and handed it to me – that's the last time I saw her."

"She must have said something," Will replied, starting to feel a little jittery inside. "She wouldn't just abandon a broadcast?"

Jim looked at Herb, who was listening to the whole conversation, and then shrugged his shoulders. "I assumed she'd be back straight away but I haven't seen her since."

"Jesus Christ." Will whispered to himself as he turned and very quickly made his way out of the control room, his mind suddenly working overtime as to when he'd last heard her in his ear. He shook his head to himself as he suddenly realised that apart from the odd word or two of direction he'd received from her halfway through the B Block he'd not heard her voice since her wishes of 'good show' an hour ago. It hadn't even surprised him when he'd heard Jim's voice closing the show as this was something he and Mackenzie had spoken about quite regularly. More and more Mac had been trying Jim out in certain portions of the show all the time trying to convince Will and Charlie that Jim was ready for his own EP slot somewhere.

With his long strides it didn't take Will long at all to make it to Mackenzie's office but by the time he'd opened the door he knew it was all in a lost cause – the room was in complete darkness but he did notice both her coat and the beautiful bouquet of flowers he'd bought her had gone.

"Damn it Kenz…" he whispered to the empty room as he tried hard to control his racing heart.

Taking a deep breath and instantly feeling his spirits drop Will gently closed her office door and made his way into his own. He wasn't quite sure when his plans for today had gone so wrong but somehow they had – he'd been hoping to escort her to out of the office to a fancy dinner at this point of the day rather than wondering just where the hell she was. Will grabbed his cigarettes from his desk drawer and lit one straight away… He took a long drag and then reached into his jacket pocket for his blackberry, convinced there'd be a message of some sort waiting for him from Mac but of course there wasn't.

He immediately tapped in Mackenzie's number, wondering to himself just why her number was the only number he knew by heart, and waited for her to answer. Of course, eight rings later and he was directed to her voicemail service. As he listened to her soft voice jabbering away telling him that she couldn't come to the phone right now he considered whether leaving a voicemail was a good option – it had hardly worked last time he'd left her an important message! He ended the call and quickly sent her a text to call him straight away. Next he dialled the only other number he knew by heart – Mackenzie's apartment number – and wasn't surprised to get the answer machine again. This time he decided to leave a message as she'd probably be home shortly - that's if she hadn't decided to drown her sorrows somewhere…

"Hey Kenz…. It's me… Will…" he mumbled into the machine after Mackenzie's voice had invited him to leave a message. "Look… I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I've… well – if I've done something wrong to upset you…. I really didn't mean to… I just thought it would be nice to celebrate somehow…. But… I… Jesus…."

Will closed his eyes as he felt his resolve crumbling and his throat tighten… he had no idea what to say and what's more, no idea that she'd even hear this message but still he needed to let her know that he was concerned about her – that he was sorry if he'd somehow messed this up. He took a deep breath and let it all out in one go before he carried on…

"Anyway Mac – I'm worried about you tonight…. Just call me okay? Or text me… Just let me know that you're okay…"

He ended the call and wandered over to his window watching the traffic below. How today had gotten so out of hand with Mackenzie he had no idea… It had started so perfectly with the flowers but soon after she had to cancel breakfast (all because of the Mayor's latest fiasco) it had slowly gone downhill – he could tell she was tense in the pitch meeting and twice through-out the day he'd seen her whispering with Sloan which was never a good sign.

Will roughly pulled his tie off and threw it over the back of his sofa thinking back to how he'd so nearly kissed her just over an hour ago on this very spot. Maybe he should have – maybe she'd still be here now if he had or maybe she would have run away sooner – Will really didn't know.

Sighing loudly, Will closed his eyes and leant his forehead on the cold glass of his office window… Surely he hadn't read her signals wrong over the past few weeks and especially today? After all, she'd kissed him - albeit a friendly kiss when he'd handed over the flowers and the thing with his tie was all her – she'd started that whole moment between them and now she'd ran out leaving Will more confused than ever. That was normal Mackenzie though – run the moment things got heated or awkward between them.

Feeling utterly useless and not knowing what the hell to do next, Will reached for his phone and dialled her blackberry again – this time deciding to leave a message when he heard her voicemail kick in.

"Mackenzie… please – wherever you are right now just give me a call and I'll come find you – we can talk maybe? I don't think this is all the turning forty thing now - I'm guessing you're scared or just plain pissed off with me but either way – ring me Mac… I'm worried about you darling and want to sort this out."

'Darling'? Where the hell did that come from Will thought just as Sloan barged through his office door looking less than impressed,

"What did you do McAvoy?"

"I think you meant to knock before you barged in here," Will answered firmly, always annoyed when Sloan spoke about anything else but economics – usually because it involved him and his personal life somehow.

"I forget knocking when you've done something to upset Kenzie on her birthday."

"Hey, all I did was invite her to dinner – what's wrong with that?"

"And bring her flowers to make her all gooey eyed today," Sloan replied…

"It's her birthday – I was being nice!" Will almost shouted at the young woman staring him down.

"How? By confusing her even more than she already was?"

Sloan wasn't too sure why she was angry with Will – maybe it was just months and months of listening to Mackenzie pour her heart out over cocktails that was finally catching up with her or maybe it was the fact that, although she'd seen Mac upset many a time over Will, she'd never seen her run away from a broadcast – not ever.

"When are you going to stop stringing her along McAvoy?" Sloan shouted, her normal composure completely gone. "Either quit with the longing looks and tender touches or do something about what you're feeling but it's not fair to keep treating her like this - you still haven't even told her what the damn voicemail said."

"You know about that?" Will asked, amazed..

"You can't keep screwing her around - yes she made a mistake once but she fucking deserves better."

"Hey – I'm still your boss Sloan – you can't talk to me like that." Will replied, his own anger (and guilt) starting to build…

"You're only my boss at work and work finished ten minutes ago so I can say what the hell I want to you – especially when it comes to Kenzie."

"Her name's Mac or Mackenzie Sloan – stop making her sound like a ten year old school girl."

That seemed to shock and stop both of them and the shouting finally stopped. Will sighed as he realised he really was being pathetic - telling Sloan off from calling her Kenzie when he'd been doing something so similar just an hour earlier. That was reasonable though Will tried to convince himself - lovers often had nick names for each other – that's why she called him Billy – but for some reason when Sloan called her Kenzie it really grated on him – that was supposed to be his nick name for her…

"I'm sorry," Will mumbled.

"Do you know where she is?" Sloan asked, quietly.

"You think I'd be standing here like a fucking idiot if I knew that Sloan – I'd be chasing after her if I knew where the hell she'd run to."

"What happened?" Sloan asked, starting to feel sorry for him with the look of dejection and worry etched onto his face.

Will shook his head and sighed. "It's complicated."

"You two always are," Sloan said a moment later, gently placing her hand on his arm and offering Will an understanding smile.

Will shook his head sadly and turned his attention back to the traffic below. He gazed out of the window for a few moments looking utterly forlorn.

"It never used to be you know," Will said a few moments later, his eyes never once leaving the road below. "It used to be the easiest thing in the world – Me and Kenz."

For the first time since they'd met, Sloan saw something in Will's face that finally made her understand just why Mackenzie moped around so much after this man - love - real love. She rubbed his arm gently and wondered why the hell Mac would give up a love like this for someone like Bryan Brenner.

"It can be again you know - it can be fixed if you still love her" Sloan whispered after a moment or two… "She's still in love with you for some odd reason!"

"You think?" Will asked hopefully.

"I know for sure. Believe me, I've shared way too many cocktails with her lately."

Will chuckled and nodded his head in agreement.

"Whatever you think about me Sloan – I love her too." Will whispered his forehead falling onto the cold glass again.

"So tell her." Sloan answered so quietly that Will only just heard her. He looked up to see a smile spread across her face…

"I was planning to but I don't know if you've noticed but she's disappeared!"

"So why are you moping around here? You do know us girls only run away from men we love when we're scared don't you?"

"Why the hell would she be scared?" Will asked, his look of sadness completely replaced by a look of surprise.

"Because Romeo, she doesn't think you feel the same back for her that she feels for you… And even if you do - she doesn't think you'll ever forgive her for the past."

"But that's stupid – why the hell would she think that?"

Sloan just glared at Will and he stopped and nodded his head in understanding… "Okay – maybe I was an idiot when she first came back – but not lately Sloan – not since I realised just how much I love her still."

"And you've told her all this?"

"I was going to – tonight – at dinner."

"But still you're standing here looking sorry for yourself rather than going to find her!"

Sloan watched as the realisation suddenly dawned on him – Mac wasn't coming back to ACN tonight and maybe he had to go and hunt her down - wherever she was! Sloan almost giggled as a huge smile spread across Will's face…. "Thank you Sloan."

Will leaned over and pecked a quick kiss on Sloan's cheek before he grabbed something from his desk drawer and headed towards the door…

"Do you know where she is?" Sloan asked just as Will reached the door.

Will turned and shook his head… "Nope, but I'll just head over to her place… she has to come home some time tonight right? I'll stand outside her front door all night if I have to."

"It's freezing out there."

"I don't care," Will chuckled… "I'm not leaving till she lets me in and says yes!"

Sloan followed Will into the bullpen and took a deep breath – she had a feeling her next phrase wouldn't go down too well…

"Will…. She's in reception by the way."

Will stopped dead in his tracks and spun around… "What?"

Sloan swallowed and started to back away a little… "Mac - she's in reception. I saw her when I was on my way out – thought I'd come back up here and let you know…. I've a feeling she wants you to comfort her - not me!"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Will roared, his face turning a bright shade of red.

"I just did!"

"I meant before," Will yelled pointing to his office trying to make Sloan understand what he meant.

Sloan smiled sweetly and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, " I just wanted to make sure you weren't screwing around with her!" she said as she turned and headed towards a smirking Don. Will stood staring in amazement as he watched Sloan disappear - he was determined that he would make her pay for that but right now he had other things to worry about – mainly just why the hell Mackenzie was in reception.

* * *

The moment Will set eyes on Mackenzie sitting dejectedly in the reception of ACN his heart melted. She was sat on the large sofa in her coat, her head slumped back against the wall behind and her eyes firmly closed. He crept over towards her and quietly dropped into the space next to her without her even hearing him. He watched for a moment as her lips twitched slightly and her right leg bounced up and down uncontrollably – a sign he knew from years gone by that meant she was tense and nervous.

Will leaned forward slightly and laid his hand ever so gently on Mac's knee causing her to jump out of her skin…

"Kenz."

"Will!" Mac exclaimed, almost as if she was surprised to see him there before him.

"What are you doing sitting here?" Will whispered, rubbing her knee gently trying to stop the bouncing knee.

"I don't really know" Mac replied quietly, a lonely tear creeping out of her eye.

"I thought you'd done one of your famous disappearing acts." Will said, with a twinkle in his eye as he gently inched his hand up her leg and begun to rub her thigh.

"I was going to." Mac whispered back in reply.

There had been a handful of occasions when they were first dating when Mac had 'run away' for a night or two – always with the explanation when she'd returned that she'd gotten scared of what was happening in their relationship. It was something Will had never gotten used to early on when they were together and something he'd recently realised had probably sent her running back to Brenner all those years ago.

Mac shrugged her shoulders slightly and the offered him a teary smile… "At least I didn't run away completely…." she muttered as Will continued to stroke her leg... "I stayed and waited for you – I must be growing up at last…"

Will chuckled softly at her attempted joke… "Well, I'm glad you didn't go – we have a dinner date right?" Will answered, shuffling forward towards her and pulling her tightly into his arms.

Without a word being said, Mac instantly melted into his arms and buried her head into his neck, holding onto him as if her life depended upon it. Will kept one arm tightly around her waist and let his other hand slide up her back and tangle in her hair, gently stroking the soft strands.

"Why so scared sweetheart? It's just me and dinner." Will whispered into her ear.

"It's not though is it?" Mac whimpered, and buried her head even further into Will's shoulder not offering Will any further explanation.

"You're worrying me Kenz." Will whispered, his voice full of concern – he had only ever seen her like this once before and that was at her beloved Grandmother's funeral. "Has something happened?"

Will just about managed to figure out that Mac was shaking her head even though it was burrowed deep into his neck and shoulders. He felt her pull him a little close towards her which seemed pretty impossible considering their upper bodies were completely joined as one already. He increased the pressure of his own hug and pressed the softest of kisses to the top of her head.

"Is it us?" Will finally whispered, half terrified of her answer….

Mac lifted her head from his shoulder and gazed into the blue eyes she loved so much…. "Is there an us?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

Will smiled and nodded his head slowly his chest aching with the amount of love he felt for her right now…. "I hope so…"

Mac smiled and then buried her head into his shoulder once again – feeling so safe and so secure… They stayed like that for another moment or two before Will felt a hand land softly on his shoulder from behind… He opened his eyes to see Lonny standing before them, concern written on his face.

"We need to get moving man – you're attracting a crowd." Lonny said, nodding his head towards the small crowd looking through the huge glass windows of the ACN building.

Will nodded his head and pulled away slightly from Mackenzie – the last thing he needed right now was to end up on Page six of the gossip rags holding a tearful Executive Producer in his arms.

"Mackenzie," Will whispered as Mac tried to pull him back towards her… "We've gotta go – I don't think my EP will be too impressed if I end up in the tabloids again!"

Mackenzie giggled and then sighed as she pulled away slightly, her eyes catching the crowd outside and nodded her head in agreement…. Together they stood and then without letting her hand move from Will's tight grasp Mac reached down to the sofa they'd been sat in and picked up her purse and her flowers of course.

"Where to?" Will asked quietly, "Enrico's?"

Mac shook her head as they started to walk towards the door following in Lonny's footsteps… "Can we miss it for tonight?" Mac whispered, her voice barely audible. "I'm just not in the mood for a fancy dinner – I'd prefer a sandwich at home really."

Will slipped his arm around her shoulder and chuckled at the way she insisted on keeping her hand in his other hand – he'd forgotten just how possessive of him she could be when there were fans around – she'd always liked to let everyone know he wasn't available.

"Yours or mine?" he whispered as they stepped outside and headed straight for Lonny's SUV. Will was determined to ignore the autograph hunters for tonight and never once did he let Mac move further than an inch away from his body.

"Yours – if that's okay?" Mac replied, "You probably have a fuller fridge than mine!" she added, trying her best to sound cheerful.

"That wouldn't be difficult huh?" Will chuckled as he slid in the back seat next to Mac and very quickly reached for her hand again.

"Home please, Lonny." Will said once they were settled, before smiling to himself and closing his eyes. He certainly liked the sound of that - heading towards home with Mac sat cuddled up next to him and her hand squeezing his ever so tightly – it was most definitely something he could get used to and something he intended to do something about – just as soon as he got back to his apartment.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely replies to this so far - sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up but work is just toooooo busy!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter too - let me know what you think...**

**x**


	4. Chapter 4

"You know, if you're staying you can take your coat off!" Will joked as he watched Mac stare out of his huge glass window in the apartment they once lived in together – the apartment they had once called home.

"Mac?"

Will was starting to worry about Mackenzie as she just nodded at his words and continued to gaze ahead, not even attempting to make herself comfortable. Although he understood her not wanting to talk on the journey home in front of Lonny (and of course he had enjoyed the way she had snuggled quietly into his side), they had been in the apartment for five minutes now and still she hadn't said a word or even removed her coat.

"Hey - birthday girl" Will said cheerfully as he casually strolled over to her and handed her a glass of red wine...

As Mac looked up, Will could see just how frightened she looked and wondered for the umpteenth time how he had turned her into this – gone was the usual strong character and happy go lucky attitude and Will felt like a little mouse was staring back at him…

"Hey..." he whispered, as he took her glass back and placed both his and hers onto the coffee table..."Come here" Will muttered as he reached for her and pulled her gently towards him and held her tight... "Come on darling – I hate seeing you like this…"

Mac felt her heart clench in her chest as one of his large, warm hands snaked across her back and the other tenderly stroked at her hair. She silently repeated the same phrase in her head over and over of not letting this feeling of complete and utter love settle – she was that convinced that he was doing this just because of some silly deal they'd made ten years ago and even more convinced that when she woke up tomorrow morning Will would have most definitely come to his senses and she'd be left alone and frustrated as always.

As hard as she silently worked at not believing what was happening, Mac couldn't help herself a moment later when she felt her heart start to race as he gently placed a soft kiss to her hairline. What's more, she was definitely convinced that the contented sigh that escaped his lips as he whispered her name seconds later was as real as it always used to be.

"I take it you're staying," Will muttered a minute later as he pulled away and started to undo the buttons on Mackenzie's coat. One by one, he silently pulled the buttons undone and then slid it off her shoulders before throwing it over the back of the sofa. Once Will was finished, Mac turned back to the view she loved so much and sighed... "I've missed this view you know," she said so very quietly, trying her best to sound calm and casual.

"You know you're welcome to come and view the view anytime!" Will joked but Mackenzie couldn't so much as even raise a smile.

Determined to move this situation on somehow, Will shuffled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his chin automatically coming to rest on her shoulder. He felt Mac sigh as he squeezed her waist and inched as close to her as he dared...

As they stood in silence admiring the City that had become home for them both Will let his mind wander back seven years when they'd both come to view this apartment for the very first time. Although Will was buying it all those years ago now they both unofficially knew that it was just a matter of time until they would be living here together. At the time, Will had already asked Mackenzie plenty of times to move in with him but the ever commitment phobic Mackenzie had insisted that they should wait a little longer before she got rid of her own apartment. That hadn't stopped them house hunting together though and it was standing here in this very position with them cuddled together as they were now that Mac had announced that this was their perfect apartment and Will simply had to buy it.

"What you thinking?" Mackenzie asked as she felt his breath tickle her neck...

"Just remembering back to when we came to view his place," Will whispered as he buried his face in the side of her neck. He couldn't help but drop the softest of kisses to her neck but he soon stopped when he felt Mac pull her head away slightly...

"Mac?"

"What's happening Will?" Mac said firmly, finally finding her voice and stepping out of his arms. The look of hurt that instantly spread across his face was almost too much to bear as Mackenzie made her way towards the coffee table and reached for her wine…

"I thought we were having a birthday drink?"

"Don't be smart Will - you know what I mean... Did I miss something? We've spent the last two years screwing around with whatever the hell you can call this relationship and now this evening – you can't stop touching me…. What the hell is happening between us because I'm confused Will and I don't handle confusion well – you know that."

For a moment Will considered a flippant, casual reply but the look on her face convinced him that Mackenzie was feeling anything but casual.

"Will?" Mackenzie repeated, the tone in her voice so serious.

Will followed Mac over to the coffee table and picked up his wine and took a big gulp - he had absolutely no idea how to answer her question or bring the conversation round to what he wanted to say but now seemed as good a time as any – maybe he just had to do it – bite the bullet so to speak.

Feeling brave or stupid - Will wasn't quite sure which - he suddenly put down his glass making Mac jump a little and reached into his jacket pocket which was hanging over the back of the sofa. Will took a deep breath and slowly slid out the little black box never once taking his eyes off Mackenzie. He watched her, almost transfixed by the look of wonder on her face and as well as he thought he knew all her reactions he really couldn't figure out what her gasp meant as he slowly pulled the lid open.

For a few moments neither said a word – you literally could have heard a pin drop. Many seconds seem to pass and Mac simply couldn't take her eyes off the diamond band that was sparkling back at her. Will watched on but then finally realised after a minute or so he needed to say something – to explain himself. He swallowed hard trying to get rid of the lump that had seemed to form there and took a couple of steps towards Mac…

"Mac… I… Will you…"

Will sighed at his inability to actually speak when this damned woman was around – it was bad enough that she'd sneakily stolen his heart again without taking his away his ability to actually form a sentence – a sentence that he'd even been practising for weeks now. He decided to try another way to get across his question…

"I couldn't decide whether to buy you a new one or whether to use this one from before." Will whispered shyly as he finally found his voice and reached for Mac's hand…. "I bought this six years ago Kenz…"

Mac didn't answer – in fact it almost looked like she had turned to stone as still her eyes hadn't left the diamonds sparkling in their little box…

"You see – I was gonna ask before but… but…"

Will knew he was beginning to babble now but her silent stony stare was starting to worry him… He kind of had an idea what was coming from the intensity of her stare… Suddenly he felt like he was six years younger and feeling like he was losing her all over again, desperate to cling onto her but realising she was going to go…

"Mac… I want us to be…"

Before Will could utter another word, Mac suddenly pulled her hand away and stepped back a couple of steps.

"Oh god. No…. Will… No – don't do this – don't say another word…"

The look of apprehension that had been with Mackenzie since Will had seen her sat in the reception of ACN had suddenly been replaced with a look of complete and utter terror.

"Mac?"

Will whispered her name so quietly that he wasn't sure for a moment whether he'd said it or just thought about saying it. He suddenly felt absolutely terrified – terrified that he'd read the whole last few months wrong – that maybe she only wanted friendship after all… Terrified that they hadn't been growing closer as he'd thought they had and terrified that he'd well and truly fucked this up. He'd been pretty certain that she'd been feeling the same as him all along but maybe not… God, there was a time he could read her like a book but not anymore – too much hurt had been caused over the years and the woman he was crazily in love with had learned to hide her feelings far too well for his liking.

Mac bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying as she watched as her words reach Will's brain and he started to process them. As much as she'd been thinking about their back up plan for months and months now she never thought that Will would a) remember it and b) actually go through with it. She had always known that he was a man of ethics – he'd always prided himself on keeping his word but, she never for one moment dreamed that he would actually go through with it all – that he'd actually marry her just to keep his word.

Mac cursed inwardly as she saw the confusion and then hurt cross his face – she couldn't bear to watch as he nervously shuffled on his feet waiting for her to say something else. Desperately wanting to run, but knowing she had to stay, Mackenzie closed her eyes tightly as she remembered so clearly the plans they'd drunkenly made that night swaying their way through Central Park– how after Will had promised he'd marry her, Mac had said she wanted to slip away to a sunshine paradise and get married barefoot on the beach and how Will had promised her the wedding & honeymoon of her dreams. She remembered how they'd giggled as she'd drunkenly pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth as he stood shyly before her at her apartment door that night. It may have been a thoroughly drunken kiss but when she awoke the following morning she simply knew it was the start of something so very special – that life would simply never be the same – she had fallen for him and fallen hard. It had taken them a further two years to admit that they wanted to see each other outside of work but Mac had still known that morning.

Mackenzie started to feel the room spin as a slight whisper of her name suddenly bought back to the present day… She put her glass back down on the coffee table as she saw the terror suddenly start to dawn in his eyes and suddenly that urge to run washed all over her completely. She managed to hold it together though and reached for his arm desperate to take away the hurt that had washed over him.

"You don't have to do this Will - I was drunk that night," Mac suddenly whispered... "I never meant it for God's sake."

Will shook his head desperately trying to get some sort of sensible sentence to form but all he managed was another shake of the head as he whispered her name again.

"I should go," Mac whispered as she suddenly reached for her coat. She'd been so proud of herself for not running away earlier but now – she couldn't stop herself – she had to leave before he realised that he'd broken her heart with this silly, silly back up plan half proposal…

"I'm sorry." She whispered although she had no idea what she was apologising for – she felt it was the right thing to say though…

Will watched, unable to even form a sentence as Mac once again reached for his arm and rubbed it gently before turning and almost running from his apartment. It wasn't until he heard a stifled sob and his front door slam shut that he realised that she had actually left – that he'd actually let her go - again. The feeling of complete and utter emptiness that washed over him in that instant was familiar to him and it only took him one second to fathom the last time he'd felt that was when she'd run out of that apartment door five years ago.

Although Will wasn't certain of much at that moment the one thing he was certain of was that he wouldn't allow that again – it had taken him months and months of therapy to lose that empty feeling inside after she'd run out of his life before and in truth it hadn't gone completely until the day in April 2010 when he'd seen her standing in his newsroom. Okay – he'd been mad as hell seeing her standing there but it was that day – April the 20th - when he'd finally realised that the empty, hollow feeling in his chest had gone just by seeing her standing there.

Without even thinking Will almost sprinted to his front door and simply shouted out her name… When he finally realised she hadn't even pressed the elevator button and was just standing a couple of steps away, Will couldn't describe the relief that flooded through every vein in his body.

"Please don't go Kenz." he whispered reaching for her arm and feeling mightily relieved that she didn't pull away… "Please – stay…."

"Why are you doing this?" Mac whispered without taking her eyes off of the spot on the floor that she'd been staring at. When there was no answer she raised her eyes and began to start shaking her head…

"What's the matter with you Will?" she said starting to lose control of her temper and beginning to shout.. "You don't ask someone to marry you for god's sake just because you promised it years ago – you ask them because you love them. You ask them because they're the one you want to spend the rest of your life with… You ask them…"

"Shhh – settle down." Will mumbled as he took a step towards her – she was starting to shout and ramble at the same time but the moment he laid his hand on her arm she took a deep breath and nodded her head slightly….

"Why are you doing this?" Mac repeated a moment later in almost a whisper.

"Because I love you Mackenzie," Will answered firmly… "Because I want us to be together – for good like we should be by now."

"Will… please... if you don't mean this – if you're saying this just because of a drunken deal ten years ago…. Please... I beg you not to say anything more… I can't handle it – not if you don't mean it Billy…"

Mac didn't even attempt to hide the tears that were springing from her tired eyes… "Please" she whimpered again as Will tightened his hold on her arm before slipping his hand down to hers and wrapping his fingers between hers…

All the fear was suddenly gone for Will as he saw her reaction to his words - as he listened to her pleading with him not to break her heart. Five years of hurt and anger simply disappeared in a second… No – shorter that a second – in a moment – that's all it took. All he could remember now was the love they once shared and the happiness it had bought him day after day. Whatever had happened in the past was gone – dead and buried - and all that was important was the future – their future together. Will took a couple of tiny steps further towards her and lifted her chin with his index finger until their eyes met…

"I'm not saying it because of the deal Kenz… If you've never believed anything I've said before you have to believe that…"

Will watched as a tiny flicker of belief shone in her big brown eyes and for a moment he swore his heart might just burst in his chest…

"Then why now?" she asked simply as Will wiped away the tears on her cheeks with his thumb…

"Because I love you Mackenzie and because I'm sick of hiding it from everyone. I'm sick of loving you this much and not telling you how fucking wonderful you are and how much you mean to me. I'm sick of looking at you across the table everyday and seeing nothing but hurt behind your eyes when I know that I'm the one causing it. I'm sick of lying in bed alone, not being able to sleep, night after night longing to feel you in my arms – longing to make love to you… I'm simply sick of trying to fight my feelings Mackenzie… You're the other half of me Kenz. You – you're what completes me and I'm sick of feeling lost and lonely without you…"

For a moment Mac didn't say a word – she was concentrating more than anything on actually just staying on her feet and somehow managing to breathe in and out…

"That's why now…" Will added, squeezing her hand just a little tighter…

"It's not just because of ten years ago?" Mac whimpered, still not ready to truly believe him…

"No, it's not about ten years ago… Maybe I was foolish to bring this up today but I thought it would be a good idea – stupidly…. It's our anniversary – it's ten years to the day when I fell in love with you Mackenzie – it's ten years to the day I knew that I'd met the only woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

Mac nodded her head and bit her lip in that trademark way she always did when she was feeling something emotionally strong…

"I just want to make you happy again Kenz… make both of us happy – like we were before… Surely we deserve some happiness? Right?"

Still Mackenzie didn't answer – she just swallowed the every growing lump in her throat and gripped on tightly to his fingers entwined so lovingly in hers hoping that he knew what she was trying to say…

"We were happy – weren't we? For a while back then?" Will whispered as Mac nodded madly in reply, a deliriously happy smile forming on her face…

"Well, I want that back Mackenzie," Will mumbled as he pulled her tightly into his arms and held her as close as he could.

"You think we can be? We can be happy like we used to be?" Mackenzie whispered, finally finding her voice and pulling away from him at the same time – just so she could see the truth on his face as he answered her.

"I don't think we can Mac – I know we can…"

"Even after everything that's happened between us?"

"Yes darling – even after everything… As much as I've tried to hide it and deny it I still love you as much as I always did and I'm pretty sure you feel it too right? You still love me right?"

"Of course I do – surely you know I do?" Mac whispered, as she let her bottom lip slip between her teeth shyly…

"You have no idea how I've longed to hear you say that…" Will whispered blinking his eyes and desperately trying not to cry with pure elation…

"I love you Billy – I truly do… more than you could ever know… I always have – it just took me a bit longer than you to realise."

Will couldn't take the grin off his face as he heard her say the words he'd only dreamt about for years and years and he instantly pulled her back into his arms for a hug – a hug that tried to express just how much love he was feeling for her right now and a hug that tried to erase five long years of separation.

The moment his arms wrapped around her, Will immediately felt Mac relax in his arms. Her arms first slid behind his upper back before she changed her mind and lifted them to drape around his neck – her fingers automatically seeking out the soft hairs on the back of his neck…

"Tell me we can make this work Billy," Mac whispered a second before her lips latched onto his for a long and loving kiss – a kiss that they had both been dreaming about for the last five years. It wasn't until Will was struggling for breath some time later that he pulled away and seemed to realise they were still stood by the elevator door. He chuckled to himself as Mac tried desperately to resume the kiss as he took her hand and led her into his apartment for the second time that evening.

Hand in hand they made it over to the sofa and Will plopped down into the corner pulling Mackenzie onto his lap and wrapping his arms firmly around her….

"We can…" Will whispered as Mac settled her head onto his shoulder and placed the palm of her hand over Will's heart…

"We can what?" Mac murmured, not really having the foggiest of ideas what Will was talking about – she was too deliriously happy to try to figure out his cryptic comments tonight.…

"Make it work," Will answered… "You said tell me we can make this work…"

Mac let out a little sigh and started to trace a pattern on his jumper as his soft hands tenderly rubbed the top of her back…

"It just wasn't the right time for us before," Will continued as he pressed the softest of kisses into her hair. "Something always told me in the back of my mind that last time was too soon for us Mac – that I wouldn't be able to keep hold of you…. And somehow, I think that's why I never ran after you and begged you to stay like I wanted to – I thought you needed to go and live the adventures you'd always dreamed about…. I had no right to hold you back before."

Mac pulled out of his arms slightly and looked up into those precious blue eyes she adored so much. Will noticed her eyes begin to fill with tears and gently popped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I understood before - more than you think I did….I knew you were scared - that you felt like it was all moving too fast…" Will whispered… "I knew you wanted to go off and do other things and I should have slowed us down, let you settle…. I was stupid."

"No." Mac interrupted… "You were perfect - you truly were and don't you ever dare think anything different…"

Will dropped his head slightly and rested it on top of Mac's head… He'd thought so many times in the past of wanting to know what happened – what he'd done wrong but now the moment was here and he felt ready to ask he simply didn't care anymore. All he could think about was moving on with Mackenzie and being happy – if forgetting and forgiving meant he could spend more evenings with her wrapped around him then that was just fine.

As Mac buried her head deep into his neck Will suddenly caught sight of the small black box resting on the coffee table and he simply couldn't let the moment go… He gently moved Mac off his lap and stood up, reaching for the little black box before holding out his hand and pulling Mackenzie to her feet….

This time he wasn't feeling nervous – he had a feeling that this time she might just give the answer he was hoping for…

"So…" Will said smiling brightly… "You gonna put an old man out of his misery and finally marry him?"

Mac giggled and let her head fall to the side slightly… "That's it? That's how you propose?"

"Well – it's a better effort that your proposal ten years ago Kenz – I'm sober and I mean it – with all my heart I mean it…"

That earned him a slight punch on the arm as Mac allowed herself to pick up the band of diamonds for the first time… "It's so beautiful Will… It's perfect…"

"It'll look even better sitting on your finger than in that box!" Will chuckled…

"Well, you better put it on my finger then Billy!"

Will chuckled and nodded his head as he took the ring from her…. "Is that a Yes then?"

"If you're asking!" Mac replied cheekily…

"Oh – I'm asking…" Will answered firmly, his eyes sparkling with happiness…

"Then I'm saying yes please…"

They both laughed at their unusual proposal – but hey – when had they ever been the normal couple? Will carefully lifted the ring from its velvet resting place and allowed himself a moment of thought – there had been so many times he'd gazed at this ring over the past six years wondering whether it would ever come to 'live' on the only finger it was made for.

Will paused and very slowly leaned in for the softest of kisses before he took a hold of Macs left hand. There was a moment of pure calm and serenity as he slipped the ring on her finger and both shared a look as the ring reached its final resting place – a look that said that this was it for them – that it would be the two of them together for the rest of their days.

Will kissed her again, this time harder and longer as he tried to catch up on five years' worth of love and kisses and the moment he pulled away Mac couldn't help but gaze down at her left hand – it was almost as if the ring signified that all the tears, hurt and pain of the last five years was worth it – just for this moment.

"Will – how's this going to work?" she whispered a moment later…

"What do you mean?"

"This? We've not even spoken properly about what happened before?"

Will shrugged his shoulders and slowly leant forward and pressed the softest of kisses onto her lips…. When he pulled away a few moments later he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear – a gesture Mackenzie had always loved…

"There's nothing to talk about Mac – what's done is done – I can't change that and neither can you so let's stop pretending we can."

"It can't be that simple Billy…"

Will chuckled and pecked another kiss to her lips… "I tell you what – let's make it that simple… I love you – you love me… I'm too old to be screwing around much longer – I just want to be happy with the only woman I've ever loved…"

"And that's it? We just forget it?"

"Yup… We forget, we both forgive each other's mistakes and we move on! The past is just that – the past…"

For a moment Mackenzie felt ready to argue her point but in truth – what good would raking up the past do? They were here – happy together and maybe Will was right - maybe they just picked up where they left off five years ago and all they simply had to do was make sure they didn't make the same mistakes again. Who knew it could be so simple?

"Okay." Mac whispered "You've got a deal!"

"Deal!" Will replied, taking Mac's hand and shaking it vigorously to seal the deal.

After a second or two, Mac very quickly decided shaking hands wasn't enough as she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips. The lack of air in their lungs was the only thing that broke them apart as they breathlessly smiled at each other before Mac leant forward slightly and rested her forehead on his…

"I can't believe we're doing this Will…"

"What? Finally putting the famous back up plan into action?" he joked, squeezing her hand a little tighter…

Mac shook her head and let her eyes melt into his... "Don't say that Will… it's more than that – what we feel is so much more than some drunken joke ten years ago…. so much more…."

"I know..." he answered, bringing her further into his arms and holding onto her for dear life…

Mackenzie sighed happily and rested her head onto his chest…. "What I meant is… I can't believe we're doing this – finally letting ourselves be happy?" Mac sighed… "I thought you'd never be able to forgive me for so long now."

"Time heals everything Mackenzie – even broken hearts… You've somehow managed to put my heart back together again….. I have no idea how or even when but you have…"

Mac giggled and couldn't help the massive smile that spread across her face at his words… "Today has been the most perfect birthday…"

"Not hating the big forty as much eh?"

"Not quite as much as I did this morning but I don't know – I just feel like I'm old somehow…. Like I'm halfway through my life already…."

"Hey – you maybe half way through your life but not ours together – our life together is only just starting Mac. We have so much to look forward to over the next forty odd years… A wedding, kids, grand-children - and it's only just beginning darling…"

Mac laughed and leaned in for another kiss.

"When did you get to be so sensible Mr?" she asked a moment later

"It comes with age!" Will joked. "Really Mac – you can't change it so just accept it…"

"I can't change it but I can lie about it…."

Will chuckled and took a long look at her… She looked so happy and so beautiful and if he was honest – not a day over thirty….

"What you thinking?" Mac whispered, when the silence had lasted a few moments…

"That I was right of course!" Will said his eyes happy and sparkly for the first time in a very long time.

"Right? What about now?" Mac asked, grinning…

"That life begins at forty!" Will whispered, "I believe those were the first words I said to you this morning!"

Mac giggled and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist as her head automatically came to rest on his chest…. She closed her eyes and for the first time in many, many years allowed herself to believe that there just might be a happy ending for them after all. She wasn't about to admit it but Will certainly was right – life did begin at forty – at least for Mackenzie McHale it did.

* * *

**A/N - Sorry for the long delay with this final chapter - it's been a bit of a busy month for me but I finally got around to finishing this!**

**Hope you've enjoyed this little story and many thanks to those who have taken the time to reply - I really do appreciate it.**

**:)**


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